What I miss

What I miss…

Your barking at dog photos I am editing on the computer or videos on TV.
Chasing those TV dogs around the back of the set to see where they go.
Not having to get up every five minutes to retrieve the tennis ball that my beloved retriever purposefully rolled under the furniture (fetch is for humans, too, I guess).

Your schedule of demands beginning with breakfast barks and followed by lunch cookie barks, dinner barks, and bedtime treat barks.
Your refusal to be shut out of any room – ever – including the bathroom.
Your sneaky counter surfing. (No, I am not believing it was Jackson.)
Your love of butter wrappers.
Tug of war with Jackson (you always let the Little Man win).
Your sleeping body always under foot.

Your presence in the garden.
Endlessly pulling sticks, bark, and dirt clods from your mouth.
Holes in the drywall (I left one unpatched to remember you by).

Curling up with Daddy on the sofa.
Crawling into my side of the bed.
Your snoring.

Your sweet sugar face.
Your long, beautiful lashes.
Your fuzzy paws.
Your soft curls.

I cannot believe it has been a year.
Not a day goes by that I do not say good morning and goodnight to your photo.
I still cry when I think of you.
But now I can smile, too.

I hold you in my heart because I cannot hold you in my arms.
I miss you, sweet Bella.
I miss YOU.





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I am a nascent gardener, rescuer, and photographer, chronicling the journey of the dogs at Homeward Bound Golden Retriever Rescue and Sanctuary near Sacramento, CA - and the Memorial Garden we have devoted to them.

28 thoughts on “What I miss”

  1. I feel your pain Ogee. I lost my golden Riley to cancer seven years ago and I still cry now and then for him. He lost both his eyes (2 separate surgeries) then 5 months later stage 4 cancer. To late to try anything. They are always walking beside us and I feel as though they are here helping us with our next golden because there’s always going to be another. Who can live without them. Bless Miss Bella and you Ogee.πŸ™πŸ»πŸΎβ€οΈπŸŒΉ

  2. ‘Chasing those TV dogs around the back of the set to see where they go’….that is the sweetest thing. Oh, Bella. Smiling through tears.

  3. Bless sweet Bella. May your memories override your grief. We know how it feels. Been there so many times. Our hearts go out to you.

  4. Anyone who has lost their best friend knows the lingering sadness! I have never experienced losing a dog to illness. I’ve been fortunate in that all have had long lives, and although not particularly cut short, time passes all too quickly. I’ve been emotional a few times just thinking about the fact that our precious Zena is getting older…and she surely has many years left! They truly are embedded in our hearts and losing them is a painful process. It is quite clear that Bella was very special friend and a tremendous loss. xx

  5. Oh Bella I wished I would’ve met you . You gave your parents and Jackson such sweet and fond memories. I too miss my Annika. It will be one year in three weeks that we lost her. But the Lord delivered us Lotta and she has a lot of love πŸ’œπŸΎπŸ’œπŸΎ to give to her brothers and Charlie and I. A beautiful tribute to Bella, Audrey 😊

  6. I read this through tears, of course, and much sorrow for your loss. When you mentioned the unrepaired drywall I did feel “not so crazy” about my unwashed corner of the carpet where Finley (formerly Ripley) always slept
    He drooled in his sleep and since he shoved his nose in the corner by the bedroom door, that’s where the dust collected and the stain is the shape of his lip line. I can’t bear to clean the carpet there despite him being gone almost 2 years. I smile and say hello every day. I can’t imagine ever hiring Stanley Steamer! Thank you for sharing Bella with us, Audrey. I’m glad you’re getting in more smiles now. ❀️

    1. We have all been there…the price of love. And we wouldn’t give up a single day – even the hardest – for the chance to love and to have been loved by them, would we? Hugs to you for the loss of Finley, Mary.

    1. We have all been there. Words written for Bella – but felt by anyone who has ever had a special relationship with a dog – each in their own way.

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